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Ten Lousy Listeners And What We Can Learn from Them
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the concrete persuasion
Posted by Robert Knilands 12/23/2004 1:59:53 PM

Becky:

You've done it. Your plethora of concrete, specific points has convinced me.

Come 2005, I'll have clocks, watches, etc. set up in every nook and cranny.

I'll also have cameras and tape recorders set up. Any flaw in body language or conversation will be recorded and analyzed. We'll have feedback on the feedback.

I'm sure 2005 will be the most productive year yet once we implement these ideas. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.

here's why
Posted by Robert Knilands 10/25/2004 3:57:56 PM

Josh:

I take it you have individual offices for each of your copy editors, and each office is equipped with a clock.

No? Well, that's why presenting tips from a fantasy world is a problem.

And yes, I agree that everyone can and should apply what they can apply to making their job easier and better.

But I've seen very little of this happening. On countless occasions, someone's computer would act up or would stop working. Would he or she move to another terminal? No. Would he or she mention the problem to anyone? No. Instead, that person would stare glassy-eyed until someone else came along to fix the problem.

Simply being a better listener doesn't resolve these types of issues. In fact, it can give someone the impression that just sitting and having a good, long, deadline-blowing talk is a solution. It's not.

now, some elaboration
Posted by Robert Knilands 10/19/2004 6:51:51 PM

Now I have read them more thoroughly.

As soon as newspapers establish individual offices for each copy editor, I'll be sure to put that clock where I can see it every second.

Until then, I think I'll just focus on working in the real world rather than Poynter's fantasy world.

Also, the only nerve that was struck was recalling how frequently someone felt he or she could waste my time while I was on deadline. The need to avoid this problem doesn't make someone a bad listener.

But again, this is where Poynter's fantasy world is different from the real world.

And again, an earlier response summarizes this quite nicely.

excellent response
Posted by Robert Knilands 10/19/2004 6:47:02 PM

Patricia:

The response above yours makes the point very well.

So I don't need to elaborate.

thanks for the advice
Posted by Robert Knilands 10/19/2004 2:07:10 PM

Thanks for the tips, Jill.

Now I know that when I'm trying to proof a page that someone gave me 5 minutes before its printing deadline, I should be ready to cast that page aside if someone wants to talk.

And when someone on the desk wants to have a 20-minute to 30-minute chat about something unimportant to that shift, I should be ready to have that conversation. Right then. After all, if not, I'm a terrible person/supervisor/listener.

Once again, we have Poynter tips, and we have useful tips. Never the twain shall meet.

Right on
Posted by Brandon Lorenz 11/4/2004 11:15:24 AM

I work with someone who represents several different kinds of bad listeners at once ��the multitasker, the sentence finisher and the debater.

I often find they are the most difficult person in the office to work with. Too often, it's about talking and not listening ��even when they are listening.

It's nice to be told your story approach is all wrong, for example, before your editor has even read it.

The trouble with bad listeners is they don't know they are bad. And if they have any authority over you, they can't be told without having it thrown in their face, usually.

Excellent tips!
Posted by Becky Blanton 12/22/2004 9:09:52 PM

To the posters who snicker about "Poynter Fantasy Land." There's more to listening than body language and attention. Listening is part of a relationship you have with your staff - not just a skill you practice so you can wring every last word and story out of a reporter. It doesn't spring, full-blown and born out of a tip, but it can grow from a tip - if nurtured.

Listening involves boundaries - both setting them and recognizing the ones others set. It's knowing what you want, recognizing what the person speaking with you - or attempting to speak with you - wants. And if you don't know, it's about wanting to know.

Listening is a complex, multi-layered, multi-faceted skill. For some it is a talent. For others it's an acquired taste. For many - it's unattainable, even with Poynter seminars, intense therapy and a Bible of tips. Face it. We all have talents and not everyone is a listener. I can only pray you're never my editor.

Listening is about communication - that thing we try to do with our readers ya know? If we can't listen to those we work with and depend on to produce our papers, how arrogant of us to believe we can listen to our readers!

It reminds me of the cell phone commercial that was playing a few months ago - the one where the NEW subscriber got all sorts of new deals, cheap minutes and great gifts. The OLD loyal subscriber got crumbs and double-billed. Those we depend on most - staff -should get our best - our ear, our attention. It won't always be easy. But it will be like a great story - once you pull the facts, the interview and the meaning together - it's a beautiful thing.

No arrogance showing in some of these posts!
Posted by Mark Van Patten 11/4/2004 4:44:13 PM

Whew!

Time management problems
Posted by Jody Roselle 10/19/2004 4:35:35 PM

A lot of the listening tips would work very well...if we all worked in some other industry. The news business is a very time-dependant business, deadlines are make or break.

What she failed to mention is newsroom staffers need to be aware of each other's schedules to know when a person has 20 to 30 minutes for an impromptu meeting. I know it's easier to get five minutes with my boss earlier in the day, if I need it, because it's further from deadline. We all sort of live in our own little worlds in the newsroom but we need to be aware of the time issues faced by each part of the newsroom.

I've found that multi-tasking approach can work if I respond by either nodding my head or repeating back what the person has said. It lets them know I have listened and I am aware, but at the time I don't have five minutes to hash it out with him or her.

They're just tips; not a bible
Posted by Josh Awtry 10/25/2004 11:42:54 AM

Whether you liked Jill's tips or not, we can all agree that being a good listener is an important management skill. The trick is to take these tips and mesh them with your own style -- not use them be the perfect embodiment of proper communication at all times.

Are they the communication grail? Certainly not. But they're a good reminder of the importance of listening and valuing what people have to say.

And, as far as it being a "fantasy world," why not be an idealist? I think most of us are capable of reading these tips and finding ways to apply them to our overstressed and very real schedules.

defensive?
Posted by Patricia Hastings 10/19/2004 2:56:50 PM

That's funny, I must not have read the same tips Robert did. I didn't see anything about letting people ramble on for 20-30 minutes any time they wanted, and there actually was a useful tip about telling people when you have a deadline and must speak with them later.

Perhaps this piece struck a bit close to a nerve?

Is it just me or does this read like a self-help book?
Posted by Graham Strouse 10/20/2004 11:35:52 AM

I'm with Robert & Patricia here. I'll be the first to admit that listening, like note-taking & even moreso than writing, is a vastly under-valued skill. But it's not something that you can fix with a top 10 list.

Listen:

Back when I was interning at the Sarasota Herald-Tribune in 1997 I became friendly with Darragh Johnson--the main bureau's junior cop reporter. She was very sharp, she read a lot, she was an ok writer & one of the most gifted listeners I've ever met--right up there with Anne Hull & Elijah Gosier.

That last really struck home one afternoon when we were having lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Sarasota. We were waiting for our fajitas (or something along those lines) when it struck me that I'd been gabbing for 20 minutes straight. And she was still listening. Part of it was body language. Part of what was eye contact. And part of it was knowing when to interject with just the right question keep me blabbing that much longer. But the biggest part of it, I think, is the fact that Darragh is genuinely interested in what people have to say. She makes space in her head for people. She puts them at their ease. And because she's interested in people she makes them feel...more interesting. Better.

Many of these skills can be learned, but the gift, the engagement, the empathy, whatever you want to call it, is something you just can't teach. You admire it & try to emulate it & pick up as much as you can. For a lot of us "listening" is best defined as that pause when you decide what you're going to say next. I'd like to think I've gotten past that some. I've worked on these skills & I think I've gotten pretty good. And I do like people. I've even learned how to shut up on occasion.

Anyway, Darragh's writing skills got a hella lot better & her listening skills never waned & last I checked she was a feature writer at the Washington Post. Take from this what you will.

Oh, drat...it's me!
Posted by Marje Hooper 6/22/2005 8:43:22 AM

Brandon wrote: "I work with someone who represents several different kinds of bad listeners at once � the multitasker, the sentence finisher and the debater."

There are times when I'm on that list. No wonder I work happiest and best when alone.

Other times, I'm the listener who feels like a talk therapist. Now if I could just find a middle ground....

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