SuperVision

A popular session in many of our Poynter seminars covers "managing the boss." And in every session, you'll hear someone state the cardinal rule: "No surprises."

It means managers don't want to be blindsided by bad news. I suspect they wouldn't want to be the last to learn about exceptionally good news either, but that's not what they focus on when talking about the "no surprises" mantra.

Bosses are concerned with worst-case scenarios, like...

Communication skills are critical for managers. The best ones work at it -- from recognizing the simple power of opening lines in everyday exchanges to mastering the heavy lifting of difficult conversations.

A leader's words have the power to engage and enlighten, motivate or deflate. That's pretty impressive. But managers, your mouth can easily become a weapon of self-destruction. Here are six ways you can talk yourself into trouble:

1. Badmouthing your bosses: You're not a mindless robot and you, of course, may not agree with the decisions your bosses make. You may be tempted to let your staff know you're on their side by criticizing management. Think carefully before you do. Ask yourself: Have I expressed these concerns to my bosses? How will badmouthing management help my staff? How will they interpret what I say, and to what degree will they repeat and embellish it beyond our circle? How would I feel if my bosses heard my critical comments? What good can come of this, and how does it balance the potential harm to my team and my own career? ...

Employees like to work for bosses with "people skills." That's a super-shorthand term for emotional intelligence. It's far more than being nice, kind or polite. Emotionally intelligent people:

• Know how to read and understand the emotions of others and put that knowledge to work
• Know how to read the emotional climate of a team of people and respond constructively
  
• Are aware of their own emotional strengths and challenges
• Go beyond just being self-aware; they are self-managing so they build on their strengths and overcome their weak spots
  

When bosses lack emotional intelligence, they reduce their chances of being seen as real leaders. That's why, when I published five resolutions for aspiring great bosses to keep in 2010, building emotional intelligence had to be on the list. The other resolutions are doubling your feedback, leading strategically, doing a systems check and learning something new and scary.

Emotional intelligence, sometimes called "EQ", had to be included because you could do the other four well, but undercut your effectiveness if you are known as emotionally tone deaf. What does that look like in the workplace? I've written about this before, so permit me to quote myself. Emotionally un-intelligent managers...