The same week as
new ratings numbers revealed the CBS Evening News is reaching the fewest viewers since Nielsen started tracking it, the show's anchor and managing editor,
Katie Couric, appeared on "The Daily Show." Host Jon Stewart asked Couric about the audience for news and offered suggestions for how to keep her viewers interested, including news bingo and a live studio audience. Here's an unofficial transcript of their exchange.
Stewart: My guest tonight, the anchor and managing editor of "
CBS Evening News with Katie Couric," please welcome back to the program Katie Couric.
Couric: I'm happy to see you.
Stewart: Nice to see you.
Couric: Hi, Jon. This [Kleenex] is for me because I have a little cold.
Stewart: You do. We just kissed and hugged.
Couric: I know. Most colds are transferred from handshakes so wash your hands or Purell.
Stewart: OK, I'll do that. When I'm not doing the show anymore. I don't have Purell here.
Couric: You should. Al Roker and Matt Lauer are addicted to Purell. I always say, 'You would jump in a vat of Purell if you could' because they shake so many hands.
Stewart: But you're not supposed to drink it.
Couric: That's true.
Stewart: What I do is, after the show, I take a Purell
Silkwood shower. Just a real power hose of Purel.
Couric: You don't have to gladhand with all these nice people so you don't get a lot of germs.
Stewart: I body surf before and after the show. There's a lot of germs and quite frankly, crotch grabbing.
Couric: Lovely.
Couric: I wish I could do a newscast like you do, by the way.
Stewart: Why don't you do a newscast with a live audience?
Couric: That would be novel.
Stewart: Let me ask you this because we get this all the time. Now that Obama is president, what are you guys gonna do for material?
Couric: The same thing you are.
Couric: I wish I could do a newscast like yours. Boy, your language, young man.
Stewart: You could. You're allowed to do that.
Couric: They bleep all that out, right?
Stewart: No, baby. We are raw.
Couric: Wow.
Stewart: That was
one particular segment that was filled with profanity but normally this is the Queen's English. This is a high class operation.
Stewart: Do you have to think of ways to spruce up people aren't watching news as much.
Couric: They're not. I know,
they actually consider you their primary source in some cases.
Stewart: No, no, no. That's not the case. They shouldn't.
Couric:
Jon says that's terrifying.
Stewart: That's terrifying. But your audience is, is, um, they're slightly
Couric:
They're older.
Stewart: They're older.
Couric: The average age is 62.
Stewart: Have you thought of doing things
Couric: It doesn't seem that old to me.
Stewart: like, news bingo. So they're at home and you call out the news story before it happens. Like, car crash, and they'll be like, 'oh, car chase,' you know, and you'll be like, 'kidnapping,' and they'll be 'ah, kidnapping.' And then they could win stuff.
Couric: Maybe that's worth a try. I thought of news sweepstakes.
Stewart: Don't patronize me. You're patronizing me.
Couric: How are you by the way, I haven't seen you in so long. Someone told me I hadn't been on this show in 6 years. Are you mad at me?
Stewart: Not at all. I was just waiting for you to come here, because I knew you were busy retooling network news, I didn't want to interrupt.
Couric:
That's worked out pretty well, hasn't it?
Stewart: It's fine. Are you having is it what you dreamed it to be, is it what you wanted it to be? You can't judge it by
Couric: Yes?
Stewart:
viewers.
Stewart: I am in a bad position here.
Couric: You're smooth. You must have been great on your first date with your wife.
Stewart: Her news program at the time no, she didn't have a news program.
Stewart: When you first date somebody are you, do you get nervous or
Couric: I thought we were talking about the news, are we talking about dating now?
Stewart: You wanna talk about the news? What about that? 'Win a date with Katie'
Couric: Oh, that's a great idea.
Stewart: She'll do the news at your -- where do they live, adult living places, where do they live, your audience?
Couric: Your assisted living facility.
Stewart: Why don't you read, at the end of your broadcast, why don't you read a list of all the viewers that you've lost that night?
Couric: We actually oh you mean, who have passed away? Is that what you're suggesting? No, actually you know, seriously. In all seriousness, there is a lot of discussion obviously about network news declining, but about six million people, with all due respect to "The Daily Show," watch the "Evening News" every night. Now it may not be this young demographic which you're lucky enough to attract, but it's like 23 million people a week watch the "Evening News" on CBS.
Stewart: Have you thought of serving lemonade?
Stewart: I keep touching my nose and mouth and I don't want to because I'm getting the Couric cold now.
Couric: I'm sorry, I just took some Sudafed.
Stewart: To your mind, what is still the most exciting part of the job? Just getting out?
Couric: We've known each other for a long time. I do enjoy doing interviews, interacting with people. I had
a piece on tonight where I interviewed four recent college graduates about their job prospects and sort of how they see the world.
Stewart: Bleak, right? It's a little bleak.
Couric: Yeah, I think it
Stewart: We
Couric: 20 Can I finish?
Stewart: Please, yes.
Couric: The two of us. Twenty percent of college graduates have jobs versus 51 percent in 2007, so it's pretty scary out there for a lot of kids. But thats what I enjoy the most, actually doing interviews.
Stewart: What about this, a segment where you bring those kids on and it's called "Call Your Mother"? And basically, these kids come on and you pick a name at random and they call them in Florida?
Couric: Why aren't you my executive producer? That's sort of what
Sarah Silverman did about Obama. Gee, why did I say I wanted to do this?
Stewart: Right now, I am very entertained by me.
Couric: Clearly.
Stewart: That rarely happens in this segment. What if you and I did a reality thing? Like a "Jon & Katie"?
Couric: "
Jon & Kate plus..." how many?
Stewart: Plus a bunch of kids.
Couric: Plus, eight viewers.
Stewart: Settle down. All right.
Stewart: Who's the next big interview? What's the next big get for Katie Couric? What are dealing
with?
Couric: I'm working on a lot of stuff for "60 Minutes" for the fall.
Stewart: Secret stuff?
Couric: A little bit.
Stewart: Is there a difference between "60 Minutes" and the news? Is there something you would do for the news that you couldn't do for "60 Minutes" or for "60 Minutes" that you couldn't do for the news?
Couric: Obviously I get a lot longer for "60 Minutes." My pieces are 12-14 minutes.
I just did a profile of Bob Gates, I went to Cairo and Riyadh and Kabul with him and did a profile of him and got to know him.
Stewart: Good guy?
Couric: Really, really nice guy, cares deeply about the troops.
Stewart: Oh, really? I liked it better with Rumsfeld because he didn't give a damn.
Couric: He's really changing the procurement process at the Pentagon. This is scintillating stuff, isn't it? Let's talk about the procurement process for weapons systems, shall we?
Stewart: What about this every three stories, free prostate exams?
Couric: How about a free colonoscopy since that's sort of my thing?
Stewart: No, I've seen enough of that, my friend.
Stewart: The CBS News with Katie Couric airs weeknights at is it on at 6:30?
Couric: In some markets it's actually 5:30, out in the midwest and west.
Stewart: So they can go out and have the prime rib and be back in time to see it.
Stewart: Katie Couric.
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