Q: I wanted to know what you as a recruiter would say to this situation.

Student editors write recommendation letters for reporters applying for internships all the time. It turns out that at my student daily, a number of people have gotten recommendations from a superior they were romantically involved with. Aside from being even more glowing than usual, the letters are standard fare; they stick to journalism and don't mention the relationships.

Offhand, this seems to raise ethical questions, because such a letter could be seen to provide a less-than-honest assessment of the applicant. A case could be made that the person should find a different reference or disclose the relationship. But on the other hand, I can see two sides of the issue, since there are practical concerns: there may not be another equally suitable person on staff to write a reference letter, and I doubt recruiters want to know about what goes on in the bedroom.

What do you think? Is it OK for someone to write a recommendation for someone they're in a relationship with? If it is, should they disclose their romantic involvement in any way?

Wondering

A: I don't like students to use other students as references. This is one reason why.

To answer your questions:

1. Do not say in the reference letter that you and the candidate get along as well in the bedroom as you do in the newsroom. That would be Too Much Information.

2. Do not write reference letters for your lover in the first place. There is such an obvious conflict here that this raises questions about the person who writes the letter and the one who uses it to try to get a job. There are way too many complications -- for the job and for the relationship. Let's keep these things separate.

Even when love has nothing to do with it, a student is seldom the best person to recommend another student. Co-workers at the college newspaper are often too close. The letter-writers are often far less experienced than other employers. Each year, I see people who apply for internships showing up as other candidates' references. I do not call them. How would it feel to be called for an internship you want -- only to be asked how well someone who is presumably less experienced would do it? What would you say?

I avoid references by students.