Before I
start, many thanks for the thoughtful responses to my question. Ask the
Recruiter is an invaluable resource, and even throwaway comments that
you make on it probably end up saving reporters years on their careers.
This is a true public service.
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It's the season for recruiter interviews at the
college where I'm a grad student. I have two problems that go together
-- I was raised in a very traditional part of the country where terms
of address and decorum were extremely, extremely important. Now I have
some years of newsroom experience by now out of that region, so I know
newsroom culture fairly well. And when I see a guy in a suit, I think
that either somebody died or the person is a lawyer. I want to make a
good impression on these interviews, so I'm going in a gray sportcoat
and a conservative tie, with black slacks. My thinking is, this looks formal
enough to be respectful and sharp, but not so formal that I look out of
place, intimidated/ing, or naive. But the prep-school kid in me still
looks in the mirror and thinks, "Go for the suit." The grownup reporter
nixes that idea. Am I on the right track, or could I be showing up to
these interviews in the sharpest navy suit I have? I really don't want
to look like a kid that just got out of Sunday school, or a law student
that went to the wrong interview.
The other problem is one I've had all the time, everywhere. When I
meet someone older than I am, I refer to them as Mr. or Ms., so on and
so forth, and answer, "Yes, sir," and "Yes, ma'am." This inevitably
causes problems when I'm at functions with other journalists and am
trying to make contacts, because editors often prefer you call them by
their first name. I always come across as being childlike, and it's
really just me following my mom and dad's sincerest tableside advice. I
think I can solve my problem by going straight to first names, but
again, the prep-school kid in me shudders at that idea -- it's
impolite. I think I have a good idea what I'm doing with the first
dilemma, but the second one is one of those lifetime quirks that I've
never really solved.
Am I the only person with these nutty sorts of issues?
Grad Student
You
are not the only person with these issues, and they are not at all
nutty. They are about how we are acculturated.
First, your situation: Your instincts on dress are correct. The gray
sportcoat, black slacks and tie work well in any context. The blue suit
could carry messages that will distract editors from the business at
hand. (Is he a lawyer, ex-military, very conservative, etc.?) Dress to
impress -- but not to distract.
As for terms of address, it is OK to open with courtesy titles and
"Yes, sir," especially if this seems natural to you, and to become less
formal if the recruiter tells you to.
On my first day at the Detroit Free Press, I did the same thing and felt quite fine to be told that we were all on a first-name basis.
Your questions about acculturation apply to a lot of people.
In some cultures, it is considered impolite to look an elder
directly in the eyes. People who cast their eyes downward or to the
side may be trying to show respect, but can be misinterpreted as being
dishonest. What a cruel misunderstanding!
In other cultures, handshakes are soft, more like a touch than a
grab. Yet in American business culture, this sign of openness can be
taken as a sign of weakness. Another great misunderstanding.
We all do well -- candidates and recruiters -- to do as you have
done. Know yourself, think about where the other person is coming from,
and find a place in the middle that accommodates both.
