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Topic: Letters Sent to Romenesko
Date/Time: 3/18/2005 11:51:57 AM
Title: Experience the copy desk for $49.95 (plus tax)
Posted By: Jim Romenesko
 
From FORREST BROWN: Once again, the so-called ethical among us are so upset -- this time about the selling of newsroom access. I say POOH! It's a great idea. I'm going to propose to my bosses that they sell access to the features copy desk. I'd say it's worth about $49.95 (plus tax) for an eight-hour, all-access session. I can envision the highlights of the exciting day now ... (let's call our visitor "Bob"):

* 10 a.m. - Bob arrives on time to meet me at my desk.
* 10:15 a.m. - Bob greets me upon my actual arrival.
* 10:30 a.m. - Bob goes down with me to the cafeteria with a co-worker to hear the latest rumor about the position on our desk that's been open for four months. ("It's ABOUT to be filled - maybe!")
* 11 a.m. - Bob watches me send a reminder e-mail to the section chief that the centerpiece due at 6 p.m. last night still isn't in.
* 11:15 a.m. - Bob watches me look up the "fund raising, fund-raising,
fund-raiser" entry in the AP Stylebook for the 48th time this year.
* Noon - Bob watches me read a reply e-mail that the centerpiece is being *polished* and will be in my hands at 2 p.m.
* 12:30 a.m. - Bob watches me laboriously edit a couple of other little
four-inch wire stories that have trickled in. ("How many times have you run a Britney story this week?" Bob asks. "Who's counting?" I reply.)
* 1 p.m. - Time for lunch! And off Bob and I go, tingling with anticipation
of a good sandwich and the promise that the centerpiece will be in by 2 p.m.
* 2 p.m. - No centerpiece. No section editor. No reporter. No one knows
where they are. Bob hears the first cuss word of the day.
* 3 p.m. - Section editor says managing editor wants to look at centerpiece. Bob hears his fifth cuss word of day, and his first one that doesn't start with a "d." Bob asks if I go to church.
* 3:30 p.m. - Bob watches 12 stories pour into rim in a matter of minutes.
* 4 p.m. - Bob has a suggestion for a better headline on a story about tips to stay warm during the winter. ("I don't have TIME for this Bob. I have WORK to do!")
* 4:15 p.m. - Bob watches me in silence try to find a shorter word for
*Presbyterian* in a 42-point, one-column headline. Designer says headline will lose *pop* if we make it any smaller.
* 4:45 p.m. - Bob watches eight more stories come to rim. ("Why do they call it a rim?" Bob asks. "NOT NOW, Bob!")
* 5:15 p.m. - Bob has to pee. So do I. Bob goes to pee. I stay at my desk.
* 6:10 p.m. - E-mail arrives: The centerpiece is in! Bob hears more cuss
words in the next minute than he's heard all day.
* 6:12 p.m. - Section editor and reporter HAVE to run. ("We're late for
Friday night BEER!") Cell phone numbers are distributed.
* 6:50 p.m. - Bob watches me send centerpiece to slot 20 minutes late. Bob watches slot give me a little talk about better time management.
* 7 p.m. - Bob and I exchange farewells as I assure Bob, who has a glazed look in his eyes, that his $49.95 (plus tax) for access to the newsroom has been WELL-SPENT!

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