Nook edition of ‘War and Peace’ replaces every ‘Kindle’ with ‘Nook’

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At the rare moments when the old fire did Nook in her handsome, fully developed body she was even more attractive than in former days.

Philip Howard discovered something odd about the copy of “War and Peace” he purchased for his new Nook: Every instance of the word “Kindle” had been clumsily replaced with the word “Nook.” I purchased Superior Formatting’s 99-cent edition of the classic novel, too, and Howard’s right: There are some hilarious incidents of butchered Tolstoy in this bad boy (page numbers from my now-treasured Nook edition):

Captain Tushin, having given orders to his company, sent a soldier to find a dressing station or a doctor for the cadet, and sat down by a bonfire the soldiers had Nookd on the road. (P. 670)

“Believe me,” said Prince Dolgorukov, addressing Bagration, “it is nothing but a trick! He has retreated and ordered the rearguard to Nook fires and make a noise to deceive us.” (P. 907)

The stormcloud had come upon them, and in every face the fire which Pierre had watched Nook burned up brightly. (P. 2661)

As soon as she heard his voice a vivid glow Nookd in her face, lighting up both her sorrow and her joy. (P. 3171)

The weird editing is probably not evidence of a conspiracy, Kendra Albert writes:

The Superior Formatting Publishing version isn’t a Barnes and Noble book, so this isn’t the work of a rogue Nook marketer from B&N. Rather, it’s likely that Superior Formatting Publishing ported its Kindle version of War and Peace over to the Nook — doing a search and replace to make sure that any Kindle references they’d inserted, such as in the advertising at the end of the book about their fine Kindle products, were simply changed to Nook.

And indeed, on one forum, someone claiming to have been a Nook engineer says the device software can’t change text.

I’ve contacted Barnes & Noble and Superior Formatting Publishing for comment.

Thanks to Dan Bloom for pointing this out.

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  • citizenkane


  • Larry Perfetti

    I hate when soldiers nook on the road.  

    Remember that excellent Lennon song, though:  “Why don’t we nook it in the road?”

  • Andrew Beaujon

    I bought the book. 

  • Becky

    It’s, and they haven’t posted anything about it, as far as I can tell.

  • citizenkane, the urban legend, birding and malicious remark descrier, says this is a hoax.

  • Judy Steers

    A clergy colleague did something similar with the funeral bulletins for back-to-back funerals.  Search replace the names of the two women.   Mary.  Nancy.  Which was fine, except the mourners at the second funeral prayed to “The Blessed Virgin Nancy”.  Oops.  Great mirth is nookd in our hearts when things like this happen.  

  • Greg Rachocki

    Ahh, yes, search and replace all.  It finds every kindle and cranny.

  • Ben Abrahamse

    This is more evidence of the shoddy publishing practices of fly-by-night ebook publishers, than of any wrongdoing on B&N’s part.

  • Ben Abrahamse

    This is more evidence of the shoddy publishing practices of fly-by-night ebook publishers, than of any wrongdoing on B&N’s part.

  • Tejanarusa

    Ohmygawd, hilarious! And awful…so very twenty-first-century. Imagine Tolstoy trying to grasp the concept of “find and replace…”  And given the absence of electricity, and therefore the necessity of using actual fire to cook food, provide light, heat a room, etc., etc., the opportunities to “find” “kindle” in a Tolstoy novel (imagine how many campfires in “War and Peace!”) must be nearly countless!

    Thanks for this…funniest thing yet in my day.

  • Anonymous

    With the dumping of copy editors and reliance on spell-check, we’re seeing silly unintended errors in newspapers now, but, so far, nothing quite this bad.

  • Andrew Beaujon


  • Kymm Zuckert

    You do realize that the 1296 on has the correct usage for nook, right?

  • dw

    Ha ha ha — hilarious!  Almost as good as Tyson Homosexual.