The rules of grammar can seem complicated and rigid, but they will help you keep your writing clear and tell a story effectively. When the language is muddled, readers may get confused and have trouble understanding your story. Even worse, they may quit reading.
Here’s some help when you are unsure whether to use who or whom in a sentence.
The rule: Who is the subject or subject complement in a sentence. Whom is an object.
The shortcut: If you would use he or she in the sentence, it’s who. If him or her would work, use whom.
- She married Al, whom her mother hated. (Her mother hated him.)
- My mother, whom you’ve met, turned 70 last week. (You’ve met her.)
- The baker, who likes my mom, created a beautiful cake. (She likes my mom.)
- The man, who police say robbed three convenience stores over the weekend, was arrested Tuesday. (He robbed three stores.)
One caution: While whom may be correct in a sentence, it may make your writing sound fussy or could distract your readers. “Who should you call?” is incorrect, but to use “Whom should you call?” creates a momentary break in focus for many readers. More important than knowing the rule is knowing your readers. Your greater goal is to have them read, and understand, your story.
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